Tuesday, April 3, 2012

It's easy...do awesome shit, be an awesome person...

              I pretty much commit to way more shit than I should actually commit to.  Earlier in the month I was bragging about how I sold so much shit in my FBLA fundraiser when I was in high school but truthfully I fucking rocked that shit that year.  So like an idiot I commit to selling tickets for Gibbs for a fundraiser.  He helps me I help him you know the drill.  I would say that I only gave about 100% the last couple days and that was because I wanted to wipe the floor with his best friend Deedee.  I did okay not great but I did supply the best fucking basket 63.00 could buy…and it was a fucking nice basket. 

              They had a benefit at the bar the next day and all the “my” team members went including a million other people in a bar the size of a fucking shoe box…but free beer and food would really bring anyone out…right?  Then someone says you act like a fucking teenager…Im like why the fuck shouldn’t I?  I had a ride home from Potter and really that is the most important thing because if anyone knows me from high school you know how I would feel about drunk driving and for that fact that I act like a teenager why the fuck shouldn’t I, I lost my teenage years helping push a wheelchair around for someone who wasn’t as smart as I was being getting a safe ride home.  I would never do anything so stupid as that and I guess if there is any good that came from that horrific accident it would be that I hope everyone thinks twice about that. 

              Anyway on a funnier note here I am with Brown after about 3 hours of drinking Miller light…not really on the diet or the pizza for that matter but she was wearing the highest most hookerific---I’m so fucking jealous heels. (Maybe someday)  I hate being fucking girly and here we are going to the bathroom at the same time not on the toilet at the same time but going into the bathroom at the same time…walking arm and arm…super gay I will tell you but I am about reinventing myself so if I have to suck it up and be girly for one night I would have so fucking aced that test, but in true cupcake girl fashion I take a political sign out of the ground and throw it in the tree of which Brown just fell into.  Not only did I have Browns back but also Magnums back (he knows why) hahahaha

              So now on to some exercise shit… my membership is up at the gym so I have to slide into the place and avoid paying unless they start taking bottles of shampoo or fucking rice from my stockpile they are going wait till payday.  Sorry bitches but a girl got to work out. 
              I went last night to the gym.  Potter, myself and Gibbs all show up in fucking the same color which is ironic because later that night Cena was on RAW and dressed in the same color when he got his shit served to him.  Apparently Deedee didn’t get the memo.  We look like a fucking band of idiots but whatever let them say something to me.  (Nobody did) I of course went on to the killer leg machine worked that shit for 1200 calories burned, texted Gibbs the picture and went home to bed. 
              I felt good but I really need to step this shit up…summer is right around the corner and if I am going to go on the boat in the Chesapeake bay and using my neighbors pool all summer I better get fucking working it.  

              Tonight I am going to go to spin then YES the beefcake room (with my head held high too) and then another spin class with Brown and Potter.  This night is either going to fucking end in the hospital or feeling the burn.  I’m hoping for the latter.

This next part is totally random but on my mind…   

I have a huge problem with having such a huge enormous breasts…I know nothing like jumping right into the topic. I don’t even know what they are now way more than a handful…you know those big mixing bowls that come with the kitchen aid mixer…ya grab two of them that are about equivalent. So here I was doing my 500 crunches and every time I laid down my breasts would cover my mouth…it is getting to be sinus seasons and I think you know where I’m going with this…I was suffocating which surprisingly in turn made me really rock out the crunches because every time I went up I could breathe.

              These big bitches really cause a lot of problems: here are a few I compiled.

1. Going bowling…seems normal enough oh no. I literally fall out of my bra every time we go bowling. The first time it was embarrassing when I look down see a glance of nipple and think to myself “oh fucking perfect” I push them back in like I’m trying to compact some garbage in a garbage can.

2. Magnum constantly reminds me that my cleavage is so enormous. One time he’s like every time you bend over to pick something up I see about two feet of cleavage. He told me maybe I should invest in some turtlenecks…not going to happen imagine wearing 5 turtle necks because remember I wear a lot of clothing which you would think would keep them secure but it doesn’t they have a mind of their own or perhaps they want to see what happening I don’t fucking know.

3. I CAN NOT JUMP… really I don’t think that I have to explain this one…I have a fear of having two black eyes because everyone would know exactly where they came from.

4. Now I do wear two bras now one for partial support and the other one is a sports bra that keeps them supported. I also sleep in a bra…its crazy I know.

Until next time…

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