Wednesday, May 16, 2012

If your heart doesn't feel like it's going to rip out of your chest, you are not working hard enough!

              Ok, maybe my whole body doesn't really hurt but my freaking calves are in so much pain… like the kind of pain when my little 4 year old Gooser will stand behind you while you are washing dishes and you have all your weight on one leg and he kicks that one and you tumble to the fucking ground. 

              So my day started off…

WAIT I’m going to confess first I did nothing yesterday like not even the 15 fit test…I felt like crap but I did get to Wal-Mart to pick up some nice way too girly rain boots (yah the kind with fucking pink and purple heart…puke!)  and I figured might as well pick up shirt to match then I was like ummm better get a tank top to match the other colors in the boots and you know me one shirt is just never enough. 

Okay back to today…we went to claws and paws.  It rained like crazy the last two days I really am surprised there were actually animals there and Noah did not take them for the ark…good for him though leaving the sad, stinky and shedding like crazy animals behind so that children from across the county can tap on the glass of the cages and taunt them. 

It was fun we saw all kinds of animals and one child in the class probably knows more than the actual zookeepers themselves reciting off populations statistics or each animal and well basically it was like he was actually reading from an animal fact book.  He was a perfect tour guide.  The little angelic angel I was in charge of ran away MANY MANY times…I guess I should thank her I am sure she was only trying to get me back in shape since I had to take a month long hiatus.

We feed the bird…which was the coolest freaking part in the zoo and if I could I would go every day at 1pm to do it.  Next time of course I won’t wear pink nail polish as those birds pecked off most of my paint job which was pretty impressive by the way…haha! Who am I kidding I have had the same nail polish on since the beginning of April…I’m too lazy to take it off so it probably has about 400 layers I am the kind of person who just paints and paints and paints when they look shitty. Another thing I enjoyed was taunting the some snake…he did however scare the shit out of me and yes I actually screamed the first time he lunged at me but then I figured they must put bullet proof glass up right so I was save and stuck my face right up to the glass.  He was PISSED!

Alright I guess I will move on to the part that you’re waiting for INSANITY DAY TWO! What the fuck is wrong with Shaun-T?  I thought he was a crazy mother before but oh my gosh he is the devil.  Squat jumps to pushups are you fucking kidding me?  Now my legs were in so much pain walking down the stairs to start working out was soooo painful in itself.  I had to modify almost EVERY thing.  Of course my boobs are still a problem but I did finish it and I was sweating like a pig and looking like hell.  I guess you get what you work for but man o man he is a horrible horrible man! Not all of it was bad…maybe 99% of it…I am kidding maybe 25% of it.  I just had to modify a lot but I am certain that keeping up with it I will be able to put fewer modifications into the routine. Yes my heart did feel like it was going to rip out of my chest but I keep going just a little slower.  I WILL GET THERE!
Right after

Now I have to get ready for my new love Mike Trout…isn’t he just spectacular? 

One good thing about like the Angels other than Albert P. is that they are going to be playing in Baltimore in August and as a new goal if I stick it out with INSANITY for the duration…I am going to treat myself to a game!
***Five more days till Philly and I start spin in the mornings...and I am so proud of her for eating all the right stuff today and turning down my treats two times in a row...EXCELLENT JOB!

Until next time,
Laters, Baby

Monday, May 14, 2012

OMG I can't think of a title...damn you Shaun T!

               So today I followed through with INSANITY DAY ONE all by myself and no motivation from others to actually do it.  I mean Sweet-T did encourage me along but maybe just maybe this bird can fly on her own without relying on other people for motivation.  YAY me, for putting on my big girl panties and just doing it.  I have been a pretty good mood these last few days perhaps because I am feeling better and it’s getting warmer out who doesn’t like that?  Plus why should I let little things bother the fact that everyone today made fun of me because I was in a bright colored shirt or the fact that spilled vodka sauce on that very shirt...ironic isn't it?
              Now INSANITY does not start with a warm up that Shaun T is one fucked up crazy person…he starts you off with 3 intervals of fast, insanely faster and you’re going to fucking die mode.   I have not worked out at all since the 7th of April so I really was out of shape. Ugh and let’s not get me started on my boobs…I had to adapt and modify lots of moves just so my hands could hold them in place.   I was all pumped today playing basketball and throwing the football at recess during work today…of course in my head I think I could be the next Tebow or Rodman (he used to be my favorite ;) but in all reality I looked like a weirdo trying to catch a ball or throwing spirals that spun like a planet out of orbit.  

About 25 minutes into it I was dying…ok really it only took about 5 fucking minutes into it I was ready to pass out but I got some great advice that has been given to me through the journey and as long as I just repeat that in my head I CAN keep going.  Plus nobody wants to read how I passed out or had to go to the hospital because I was going to die…haha ok maybe some people do but today is not that day bitches.  I finished that video and I am ready for more well at least now that I have slowed my breathing and the ass and leg twitching has stopped.  

Tomorrow I am going to do the fit test because why start with that…right? Just dive right into the hardcore shit.  I am sort of looking forward to the St. Ubaldo parade because the Goose gets to walk in the parade with his team and if anyone has ever gone to it the parade route is fucking horrible…fine walking down that alpine slope until you have to go back up the other side.  It’s all fun and games walking down waving to people you know, seeing all the drunk people while you are walking with a 4 year old…you know the fun stuff until you start to crest the hill and your literally look like that guy on the mountain climber game on the price is right.  You are drenched in sweat, panting, and your legs are in pure pain or at least last year that’s how I felt…this year maybe sweat a little panting but no fucking legs in pure pain. We will see though.  ;)

Tuesday-work…then the fit test…maybe I will try out the pussy cat dolls dance video.

Wednesday- work…field trip and INSANITY after work

Thursday- work…then slots daughters dance recital

Friday- work…maybe a walk around the lake with the goose…then out with friends

Saturday- Parade…INSANITY…then a 31 gifts party at a friends

Sunday-INSANITY and rest

Next week starts SPIN classes…I fucking can’t wait ohhhhh how I missed you so much.  I feel a little bit of my heart missing without being pushed to the limit while standing and riding the spin bike and perhaps a couple trips to the beefcake room as long as nobody I know is there.  I weird about that.  I opened the comment section…please at least be a little nice in the comments because you know damn well I will erase the mean ones it’s just not nice!
P.S for anyone who wanted to know... the largest spider in the world is the giant huntsman spider with a leg span of 12 inches per leg...hes just spinning his web of destruction.  ;)

Later’s baby!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Oh Mr. Grey I may need you to UN-stow your palm!

I didn’t give up and I am not giving up…I’m just starting over…

              I was so healthy planning so many (maybe too many) spin classes and that great plan of an April workout…then all of a sudden I got SICK.  Not a simple flu sick like 2 trips to the doctor and a visit to the ER sick…I literally thought I was going to die.  This all occurred the night before Easter and took me out for a good month…no voice, pain everywhere and my lungs filled more flipping phlegm than anyone should obtain.

              So to get back on track tomorrow starts Insanity for real…I posted on Facebook that I was starting a couple weeks ago but I was still too sick to start. Now I am at about 99% and I am ready for Shaun T to kick my flabby ass back into shape.  Plus the best part is that Sweet-T and I made a competition out of it with Gibbs and DeeDee although I am sure they forgot about it…but I will be collecting after two months boys!

I am going to start going back to spin with whoever wants to go with me but Philly better get her ass there if I am putting her name in this post. ;) I did however read the three Hunger Games books and started reading the 50 Shades of Grey.  I am on the second book currently and need to finish so I can devote more time to working out. 

So let me bring you back to a couple days ago when MAGNUM says to me “Hey are you still going to the gym?” I said no, because I have been sick…ever since that day those words have been ringing in my ears…plus after I said no he replies “you’re going to gain all your weight back” and shook his head in disgust…so to the gym I go starting Monday with or without my peeps! I wanted to roll my eyes at him so bad but he was right (YES!) and really ever since I have been reading “Fifty shades of gray” I don’t think that kind of punishment for an eye roll is acceptable in a school.

               I don’t even want to get on a scale or for that matter measure myself so I am going to wait until the first maybe I will be at the no gained mark…one problem I have is that I gave all my larger clothes away so there would be no way to go but down…this was another brilliant plan that I never gave much thought about but I refuse to go back up to old weight status.

              Today is the eve of mother’s day and one reason I started losing weight was so that I could play with the Goose more and be an active mother to that crazy animal. So I am starting again tomorrow with Insanity and then Insanity on Monday and if I’m still alive maybe the gym…we shall see!
Laters, baby