Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Getting back on track!

Where to start…first YAY for over 400 views to my blog in less then 2 weeks!  I guess I should own up to my “partying” on Saturday night since Sweet-t called me out on Facebook.  Also I should probably also say that I did not get home in time for P90x…I was grocery shopping.  Stop judging! Haha

So Sunday night I texted Gibbs to tell him he has to do a little more in the form of motivation because when I thought about it there is no I in team…why should I be the only one responsible in losing weight and eating right?  That sounds just as fucking stupid as it sounded coming out of my fingers.  Anyway he agreed.  Sorta!

Monday rolls around I get up and plan this brilliant and stupid idea of taking a dry erase marker and writing “I am a badass” on my mirror…I did do it then snapped a few photos of myself looking at the masterpiece for what who the hell knows.  While I was googling I read you should write it on your mirror to remind you how badass you are.  Maybe if I was not wearing a cardigan and instead leather chaps and a real sweet leather jacket but yoga pants a cardigan and a huge ass flower necklace was not saying badass. So as I put on my massive amounts of cover girl bronzer that I got for free a while ago I stared at how ridiculous this was.   Next I figured hey lets post a new status on Facebook “today is going to be a good day, I can feel it” I would not say that today was one of my all-time favorite days but it did have a lot of humor.  I got the goose ready in “clean” clothes too. ;) I then got my lunch ready because I needed to bring in something healthy.  I brought a salad with grilled chicken, carrots, celery, French onion dip, pretzels and lots of water.  Seriously, I was starting off excellent.

Work came and went I sent out the word to Magnum that I need the old up in your face nothing but to fear Magnum back.  Then to my surprise he’s nice not that he’s always not nice but just not what I was expecting…this is not what I need, I need “hey bitch no excuses get your fucking ass to the damn gym”.  Not what I got, but he did give me some good advice so I will let the niceties go for now, but this better not be permanent.  So everything was set Gibbs=motivation, Magnum=pusher, and Potter=going to the gym buddy.  It was going to be sweet just had to get done with work bake cupcakes and dinner and then the gym. 

Dinner was made, cupcakes baked except they looked horrible like really shitty.  The cupcake girl could not bring these into work.  I will send them with the goose tomorrow because let’s face it preschoolers eat everything and bake new cupcakes when I get home from the gym.  This was another brilliant plan.  ;)  Holy fuck they are good! I tried one just to make sure they are good enough for work and who would have thought that captain crunch cupcakes with a marshmallow peanut butter icing would be to die for.

So back to the gym because really this is blog is turning a little into a personal diary of funny stuff that happens to me.  Hopefully you find the humor in this as much as I do.  About 20 minutes before the gym I inform Potter that I am on my way and he better get his ass there on time.  Only because he said that I better be on time earlier.  Geez I’m always never on time.  I ask him if my I-pod is updated with my new found love of country music…he says of course.  Then I get the dreaded “don’t be mad…” text.  Oh no, I was not going to the fucking gym alone he was out of his mind if he thought that was what was going to happen.  It wasn’t he just lost my I-pod now you would think that would bother me—not so much I just wanted to make sure that he was going because let’s face it I was still not going to go alone.  One of these days I would go, but not today.  He finally shows up a half hour late.  While I was waiting I cleaned the front seat of my car, it’s amazing how much shit is in my car.  It’s like a rolling dumpster.  So we get to the gym walk in and of course I have to go to the bathroom which requires me to go through the beefcake room.  Sometimes I think my bladder is just fucking with my head.  I’m perfectly fine then as soon as I walk in to the gym I have to pee.  Ugg…back though the beefcake room I go. 

Now here’s the funny part I was texting magnum to tell him he was going to have to step up tonight and be Gibbs replacement because after I sent the cupcake photo to him he never responded…this is another reason the cherry coke cupcakes are not coming to work…were they that horrible that I lost all my privileges for motivation?  By the way I never heard from him for the rest of the night…bastard! Haha (I’ll hear about that tomorrow, but maybe not because of these badass captain crunch cupcakes) well see! I told Magnum he’s going to have to really give me a ridiculous number or something to do.   I love when I am challenged then I snap the picture and say to myself in your face fucker!  This is so twisted but true.  I send it out in mid-stream because remember I am in the bathroom.  Then what the fuck no toilet paper…are you fucking kidding me?  How hard is it to replace the toilet paper apparently as hard as it is to look to see if there is any?  This is not the first time this has happened and it pisses me off!  So there I am drip drying like I’m camping or pissing on the side of the road when Magnum gets back to me and says do 500 crunches.  Ya that was not going to happen.  One thing about Gibbs is he makes the challenges a challenge but they are still obtainable as long as you work for them. 

So I go back out to the cardio area inform Potter of my challenge and the fact that I am now sporting a wet crotch and that there is no way in hell that I would ever make it through 500 crunches and live to see tomorrow.  I get another brilliant plan to call the front desk which is literally 15 feet in front of me and place an anonymous call that they better fill the toilet paper.  I do it and the old man ---who after me telling him he is the old man would rather be referred to as sugarpie#4 don’t ask why he’s a crazy fucker.  So sugerpie#4 picks up the phone I can’t even talk I am laughing so freaking hard.  He tells me that I have the wrong number the only thing that came out clear was tell *&*^% that he needs to refill the toilet paper.  I was laughing so hard that I had to stop the killer leg machine.  In the mean time when I can breathe again I start to go on the machine and the thing timed out.  I guess I was laughing too long.  Feeling unmotivated and laughing so hard from that we decided to end the workout if you would even call it that and go talk to sugarpie#4 for an hour because what else are you supposed to do at the gym---workout?  I will tell you that I DID NOT stop at Arby’s and I DID NOT do anything else bad when I came home! So the way I see it I AM A BADASS…or at least pretty funny.  Tomorrow is another day to get it right.  Hopefully this time I will have a realistic goal and a little motivation…GIBBS!

Sunday, February 26, 2012


          Now some people may think that my being creative means that I have my life in order this is not the case at all.  I use bringing cupcakes, treats and making up creative crafts to cover up the fact that I have no idea what is going on.   So let’s pretend that my house could be showcased in better homes and gardens, that my car is showroom quality, that I always turn my paperwork in on time, that sometimes I don’t send my son to school in what he wore to bed.  Let’s face it "Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Totally best movie EVER!

I will admit this week was one of my WORST motivation weeks EVER!  I could blame it on Magnum and Gibbs being sick but really that’s just an excuse.  It’s funny how you are on fire one week then one person isn’t motivated and my whole world spins on another axis. Although you guys are dropping the ball…haha!  It’s crazy… I could have also blamed it on my obsession with baking cupcakes, hanging out with friends, going to the casino, watching NCIS, looking at Pinterest for hours, Googling motivational saying, crazy week at work but these are all excuses too.  I ate horrible, lots of Pepsi was consumed, turkey hill ice tea was flowing like Niagara Falls, we ordered out almost every day at work, a sleeve or two of girl scout cookies were eaten, I think I ordered out pizza two times this week for dinner and went to Arbys after gym Wednesday WTF! This is not good at all and I need to change this, I should be able to motivate myself without relying on my team!

              So Sunday started off good, highly motivated went to the gym and rocked it for 3000 calories then Monday rolls around we have a meeting at work--blah super boring bake 25 cupcakes with freaking horses on them but went to the gym.  Tuesday get a karate kick to the ribs by a child—it hurt like hell, pick up the new Girl who kicked the hornets’ nest book, super busy day sign language class then the gym, I went but started slacking, Wednesday pops up and guess what it’s girl scout cookie day, then gym with Ash and tempting Arbys beef and cheddar with curly fries…Thursday slams in like a freaking rocket we order out at work, I bring creamsicle cupcakes, skip the gym do paperwork and watch NCIS.   Yay its Friday…dress down day, half a day, waffle day, leave work go to a diner get a patty melt, work meeting, go to the store, come home and in bed by 8:30 I was out! Wake up Saturday at 3:00 in the morning bake cupcakes because why not? Go back to bed, I wake up and basically do nothing… not even the gym and I also went to the casino…what the heck happened this week.  I need to start motivating myself and fast because I’m on a nasty spiral.   Let’s just say my arms are getting flabby, my pants are tight and I feel like shit.  I totally fell off the wagon.  If someone was going to tell me that the world was ending on Friday I would have placed a bet on it.  

              So why am I the CUPCAKE GIRL?  I freaking love cupcakes…not eating them but actually making them they are like little pieces of art.  I do perhaps sometimes indulge in a couple from time to time but I try to give them away.  Here are some of the cupcakes I have made over the years…

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Beefcake Room….

         So today was most likely one of the worst work days EVER…every child in the class was crying or bitching about something…I wanted to try something new tonight. I went to the gym with my friend Ash...we did the killer leg machine for about an hour only burning 953 calories. We talked a lot!  Then moved on to the treadmills which I started out loving and now hate!  THEN something very exciting happened I told Ash I wanted to go work out in the back otherwise known to me as the beefcake room.  Oh I was ready…haha! We started walking back there and since pretty much everyone knows that I walk with my head down and eyes on the floor to the back even when I go to the bathroom. I don’t know why I do this just nervious I guess.  I do the same thing at sign language class the less eye contact the better.  ;) I am working on it though.
      The one worker called “the old man” says ohhh she’s going into the back. I told him to take a record and document this for Potter and Gibbs mainly because they would never believe me. I told him I was going to work out.  He laughed at me because just last night I was saying how I would never do it.  We continued back looked at all the equipment and TRIED to understand how and what to do.  I got on a machine and could not figure out how to do it, so I asked another guy there what to do.  He said that you have to pick up the bar.  I showed him that I was then he showed me the proper way because apparently I could not understand how to read the directions that were on the side of the machine.  We did a couple reps on a couple machines but then we tried one machine and couldn’t get it to work WHY? Because some guy I’m sure did not take the fucking weights off the damn machine.  There was like 290 pounds on the back clearly I could not lift that.  We moved on and worked out arms and abs testing out a couple more machines as we spent our half hour back there. 

       When we were leaving legs felt fine but I could hardly hold my keys.  Perhaps putting on 50 pounds on the arm curls was not the most brilliant idea I ever had.  I have a lot of these “brilliant” ideas that turn out in pain later on.  Driving home was not fun and still right now my arms are hurting so I’m sure I will be in excellent shape tomorrow.  No pain no gain right?

Monday, February 20, 2012

Good friends are like stars...you don't always see them but you know they're ALWAYS there!

    First I want to vent a little tonight… about the value of friendship.  I have friends in my life now, 5 extremely close and mega supportive friends.  Most people are lucky to find one friend that they would do just about anything for but I am blessed to have found five.  I know I have been harping about this for days about how important it is to have friends in your life that support you, make you laugh, call your buff and inspire you but I never realized it till this year that these people make me a better me just knowing them.  I’m not going to point out what specific quality that I like about each of them…they know already! If every one of them was standing on a bridge ready to jump off… I would not jump with them I would be standing at the bottom waiting to catch them because that’s how important these people are to me. 

    Now on that lovely note I had all intentions of going to the gym tonight as a matter of fact I am dressed for the gym…feeling like shit but I’m not because sometimes you have to give up something you like to be there for someone else.  That’s what I am going to do be a supportive friend!

Sunday, February 19, 2012

The gym...where fat is burned and PRIDE is earned!

       Today is 7 straight days at the gym…very dedicated this week! So today started today with no ipod because it is getting updated by "Potter" not very motivating not listening to music but I still killed it at the gym. The funny thing is that when I started going to the gym I specifically listened to Eminem and today I have a sick and total opposite obsession with country music...and to be even more specific Toby Keith very different from Eminem but none the less motivating and change is good! RIGHT? I think I'm just re-living high school because I also have been listening to All American Rejects who knows next I'll be bringing grunge back...if you see me in a tie dye or flannel... punch me in the face I give you permission!
       Anyway so dedicated like I am ;) I show up at the gym at 9:00am, okay it was 9:08 but really what’s 8 minutes? I'll tell you...8 minutes of not crushing it! I jump on my favorite calorie burning machine with the rest of the heathens that are not at church today. Start off slow burn about 100 calories then start over because sometimes I have to warm my legs up for the max level and I don't like that first 15 minutes to count toward my hour...it’s crazy but I am crazy I mean who puts on makeup before the gym??? This girl does! You never know who you’re going to run into in the parking lot...looking like a total scum bag just isn't for me! So here I am with "Slots" at the gym she’s working out on the same machine about 6 down from me and I was ALONE on the other machines. That right people ALONE...no music and for the life of me I have no idea why I don't think to buy new underwear because they are all too big but I had them tucked under my elastic band of the my pants! It was going to be okay. ;)
      THEN a lady came to work out on the machine next to me...ugg I was going to have to start a competition with her. Of course I wouldn’t tell her she was now a competitor but if you can't try to outdo people you don't know then who can you? It's the gym for fucking sakes! She starts talking to a man that I have seen in there before so I look to see if she has any music devices and she didn't SCORE! I ask her how reliable are the calories on the machine...I was at about 756 at the time not even an hour in to the workout! We start talking, then I’m bragging about my weight loss and what I do every day...show her the pictures on the blog you know she learned my whole life story in the 20 minutes she was there. PLUS she told me that I do not look 32.... Woot Woot! This is always a plus in my book. She was a very nice lady it lifted my spirits and if she is reading this I did come home and eat lean protein (grilled chicken and carrots)!

       I finished the hour at 1208 calories burned (+ the 89 as the warm up) snapped a picture and sent it to Gibbs, Magnum, and Potter. Of course nobody responds except for faithful Gibbs...and this is why he is the president of the team. Magnum has the flu and Potter was probably hung over at the time. I stayed on the machine till 80 minutes and the fucking thing shut off...I was then at 1709 calories burned...I wanted to do 2000! Perhaps I may have a little problem developing but at least I’m not smoking crack or some other shit! I was beyond pissed...nobody was going to believe that I did that many...I had to start over but honestly after the first 15 minutes your legs just go, your pain leaves and i do it cause everybody needs a break from reality...this is what the gym does for me. (Who am I, to not trust the almighty Kenny Chesney)!

       Starting over...Ugg so disappointing! Back on for another hour I tell Gibbs my plan... he says "u can do it" motivation was set...really I was going to do it anyway because I already had it in my mind but a little encouragement and that fact that I make a lot of excuses...I was soooo fucking doing this!!! Personal Pride... Hopefully my phone would stay charged long enough for the picture...it did! 60 minutes go buy and another 1100 on the fucking dot! Snap that picture send it off to Gibbs who responds with I am the master....haha no he said good job but I can read between the lines! He could of fucking said anything it didn't matter ( I hate when people say that, it always matters) I was so fucking pumped that I crushed about 3000 calories in less than 3 hours! I then go about telling every person I know how awesome I am...I got back alot of your crazy! Personal Pride bitches!

       Now the funny part...after talking so much smack about how awesome I was I could hardly get down the stairs at the gym...then when I get in the car I felt like I was going to vomit I had to sit out there for a good 20 minutes thinking to myself perhaps 7 days and about 10,000 calories burnt in one fucking week may be a little more than my body could handle...I came home, legs and ass twitching and thought I better eat lean protein. Like I said before I had grilled chicken and some carrots...Yum! I probably love carrots more then I love that dumb ass red solo cup song...maybe more!
      This post just proves the power of motivation and you can do anything you set your mind to as long as you believe in yourself...I am slowly learning that...

As promised here are the recipes and the menu for this week... enjoy!
Most recipes are from Skinny Taste
Weekly Menu

Roasted Herb Crusted Chicken, stuffing and roasted parmesan green beans


Healthy Black Bean Chili with corn bread


Breakfast for Dinner (free night) due to my busy schedule on Tuesdays…I do not get home till 11pm


Tilapia with roasted carrots and seasoned rice pilaf


Tomato and basil flavored Sirloin steak with salad 


Homemade flatbread pizza


Loaded potato soup with a grilled cheese Panini

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Don’t compare yourself to others…compare yourself to the person you were yesterday!

        I will be the first to admit that I constantly compare myself to others… example the blonde exercise god at the gym.  Just this morning I was caught doing it again.  When I mentioned to “Potter” that I probably check out the girls more than the men do at the gym not in a sexual way but comparing what they have and what I want.  One problem with this is that do I really want to be like these people.  The answer is an affirmative NO!  Sure some people may want to be but when it comes down to it, I want to be the best me. I do believe that it is good for inspiration but deep down we all know that inspiration only gets you so far. Ambition and drive makes results happen. 

The funnest part is that some of the guys upper bodies look like oversized diagrams of a
fallopian tube diagram...maybe its just me!
 That's my funny for the day!  

       One thing that keeps me going is motivation and encouragement from others and my team. Who wouldn’t want a good job every once in a while all the time! I know I do! haha   This morning I did the machines and in 60 mins burned 1108 calories.  Now my weight does play a part in it because my VERY SLENDER friend who I go to the gym on Wednesdays does not burn nearly as many calories.  I feel if I don't burn at least 1000 it wasn't a good workout.  Perhaps my mind will change as I have to put less weight into the machine and Im there for 4 hours and only burnt 209 calories but for now it's an obtainable goal. 

         So I got thinking yesterday after a hellish start to the day that I need to target one area at a time.  Like really focus on losing the extra gelatinous fat around my mid-section, butt and breasts.  So starting Monday I am going to do a 15 minute power workout in the morning before work in one area.  I found the diagram below that shows every targeted area.  I will be focusing on mid-section doing  3 sets and 14-16 reps per exercise.

The below is an example of exercises found at

Leg Raise

Leg Raise

1. On an exercise mat, lie on your back, arms alongside your body, palms facing downwards. Stretch out your legs in front of you and press your feet together.
2. Contract your abs and slowly raise your legs from the ground. Stop when you’ve formed a 45-degree angle.
3. Gently lower your legs until they’re two inches from the ground, and bring them back up to a 45-degree angle.

Happy exercising
The difference between who you are
and who you want to be is what you do!

Think about it!!!





Thursday, February 16, 2012

You know you’re going to love my sexy curves……soon!
So today is the 16th the first post of the weigh in, measure and pictures one day late. Too bad I don’t have Photoshop. I’m kidding of course! This post is one day late mainly because of not being able to find my camera. I hate when you hide something from a four year old and forget where you hid it.



Arm (right)

Arm (left)




Thigh (right)

Thigh (left)


Total inches measured

Differences per measure

Current Weight
298 lbs.

258 lbs.
Differences in Weight

-31 lbs.
Pants Size


So I’m a little annoyed about the lack of weight lost in that amount of time.  One thing I did notice was that I have been consistently losing inches and I am happy but the weight is at a standstill. Perhaps it’s the machines I am using at the gym or I have plateaued.  I have been banging out calories at the gym. The weight just is not coming off fast enough and I have gained 2 lbs. since I started picking up the pace at the gym.
  I have noticed my arms are getting “guns” not .44 magnum style, but perhaps more like a child’s cap gun but none the less I like flaunting these new babies.  Actually I was just flexing my arms now admiring the fact that my grandma flab at the bottom is starting to disappear.  I also noticed that I am starting to get muscular calves which is fine but this was not a target area…butt, thighs, stomach and my breasts are. 
On Sundays I would like to start posting where I get my recipes and the menu plan for the week.  Most of my recipes come from Gina at www.skinnytaste.com which is the best site I have found for a variety of dinners that even a four year old will like.  


Tuesday, February 14, 2012

I’d have a nicer ass if I didn’t feel so lame doing exercises that improve asses!

              One thing I hate is going to the gym and working out alone… I don’t really talk to the people I go with “they” have these crazy ass rules of no eye contact or talking when you are at the gym.  This is difficult because at the end of the session you forgot the funny thing you were thinking about when you almost fell off the treadmill by trying to cover up laughing alone so you don’t look like a goober.  Yesterday was one of those days here I am working on the killer leg machine almost maxed out of course when there is the slimy and sweaty guy next to me.  All I could think was all the funny stuff I could say about him…YES it was mean but he knew deep down he was looking like a dork. 

Then this fit and nice body blonde bitch gets on the treadmill in front of me and I have to look at her rocking body the entire time as she is flaunting her ass and looking like a fucking exercise god.  I would have loved to see her fall off the machine.  Jealous…ummm you fucking bet! In all reality she was doing me a favor she was giving me inspiration that I did not even realize at the time. I WANT HER BODY! I wish I would have snapped a picture but that would have been creepy.

Backing up to earlier in the day I find out that “Potter” is not going to be going to the gym…I was not happy about this at all.  I begged practically everyone I knew to go then send out a text to “Gibbs” saying that I was not going because I didn’t want to go alone…yes I’m a baby about it and no I was NOT actually crying.  Even if I would have lied and said I was planning on doing a home workout we all know that if I’m not watched I most likely will not do it.  Like I stated before he works with the rest of the lifters in the beefcake room so I was not very optimistic about my enthusiasm about going but after I got call a puss and need to man up…I got in the car and went.  It wasn’t that bad plus when he came out to do cardio we had a visit from the “Mosquito” who swarms around you and buzzes about trying to get you to sign new members up.  I keep telling him I have no more friends apparently he does not understand this, if I had more friends wouldn’t be fucking alone at the gym. 

So today is Valentine’s Day a day filled with sweet treats, everyone wearing red and drunk with love from the arrow that cupid must have shot in their ass. Surprisingly he missed me because I hate Valentine’s Day.  Nothing personal about the day except I feel that people should not go out of there way one day a year to show people that they are loved call me crazy, plus I cannot stand roses!   I did pretty good today ate grapes and a salad with grilled chicken.  I did however par take in the festivities of a donut shaped like a heart and ONE Pepsi. 

Weigh in, measurements and pictures tomorrow YAY! I am going to plan on doing these pictures the 1st and 15th of every month.