Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Some nights… Swamp Ass and the Police!

              So my day started off decent went to work…finally the fucking hours were approved for the little angel I work with...I mean money is always good right?  Then I head over to the house to do home hours.  My song of choice today was “Some nights” but FUN.
 Good song and Potter who shall now be known as Pixie Sticks (not because he has a drug problem but rather he says sweet things and when it comes down to it Potter really doesn’t ring a bell like the other name chosen) so anyways enough of that vomity nice shit! Pixie Sticks…loaded my I-pod before he left for vacation with new music this was one of the songs that I actually requested usually it’s just random stuff. 
So there I am on my way to the client’s home hours and the line…. “I try twice as hard and I'm half as liked, but here they come again to jack my style…” came on and I was getting into the beat and ready for the next part that is my favorite.  (P.S I never listened like really listened to the words of the songs till about 9 days ago so I have no fucking clue what this song is about but I like his voice and the beat is good)
Some terrible lies...ahhh...

Oh woah, oh woah, oh woah, oh oh
Oh woah, oh woah, oh woah, oh oh
With each “Oh woah” the speed of my car probably went up 5 miles an hour.  I was rocking out, had the fucking air drum sticks and using my steering wheel for the drum…really jamming.  THEN…I fly like literally speed of light fly past a cop.  I knew it right away that I was toast.  I pulled over waiting for him to come to get me.  HE DID! Now you’re thinking why would you wait?  I knew that if I kept driving that he would follow me all the way to the client’s house.  I didn’t want to have to explain why a cop followed me to their house so I pulled over.  I had my license and shit ready for him before he even said “license and registration”.  He was a nice young man most likely stunned by the fact that someone actually pulled over and was waiting for him.  ONLY ME PEOPLE, ONLY ME!
              He says to me do you know why I pulled you over…like clearly if I said no then I would be an idiot so I said let me guess speeding?  He said do you know how fast you were going?  I said pretty darn fast!  He said 65.5 MPH…I was like fuck what was the speed limit…yup it was 35…ut oh! He smiled at me I smiled back…you know some pleasantries are one that maybe get you out of trouble or reduce a ticket…I will admit I flirted a little…I couldn’t cry because I was so fucking hyped up on that song with mind you was on repeat and still the faintest sound of the “oh woah” where still penetrating through the speakers in my car.  He sets off to check my background out and whatever the fucking else they do in the cop car.

              17 minutes later he returns.  This isn’t good…I was like damn it I should of stayed in bed today.  He writes the ticket up for 5 miles over the limit…ummm okay really what happened to the other 25 that I was going?  Who cares I wasn’t going to argue although I did not want to be paying $121.00 either.  Damn Police cramping my style.  Then he turns to walk away and turns back and says “hey what kind of gun do you like to shoot?”  I am thrown off by this question.  Apparently my permit came up when he was checking me out for 17 minutes.  I said I like the AR15…hoping that I got the name right because MAGNUM would kill me and most likely never take me to the range again.  Away I go with my ticket in hand and head to work. 
              So then I met Sweet t for lunch and got ready to mail some whoopie pies to Pixie Sticks family as a thank you for inviting me to the south and other nice shit like that.  I stop by the UPS store…they wanted to charge me 15.98 to mail one dozen pies to the south and 11.76 to Philly…are you fucking kidding me UPS?  So off I go with the pies in tow and head to the post office.  He tells me 11 dollars too…what the fuck the damn things only cost me about 4 dollars to make.  Goodness! Then I said you know what I am going to shove these damn pies in a small box and pray they taste better than they look when they get there.  So for 5 bucks a box those three dozen pies were off to Pixie Sticks family.  I know they taste good because I ate 3 of them myself. 

Now on to the good part the picture…WHAT?!? Check me out!  I kind of wish I wore a better shirt but who cares.  I look “almost” awesome…still in progress but at least I am looking better…right? First picture is from November 28th 2011 and the second one is from today that's 64.5 pounds lost!

So off to the gym I go tonight I finish Week 2 day 2 of the couch to 10k program and my legs were killing me and I had a bad case of swamp ash explains it its when your ass cheeks sweat... fucking YUMMY! Ugh it’s these sneakers I swear.  I hate them with a passion.  When I make it past week four I am buying new sneakers.  I think my problem isn’t the sneakers but the fact that my feet were huge when I was that rolly polly fat former hippo self in pink.  Geez…I NEED NEW SHOES! Enough said.  So I did finish it and I can tack on another 1.73 miles on to my 50 mile count down…not bad.  I also did the killer leg machine which may be contributing to my leg pain right now.  Who the fuck knows? 
I was praying to god Gibbs didn’t show up at the gym tonight because when he usually goes I was on the cool down and let’s face it all this talk about me running or jogging and shit he would of so called bluff if he saw my cool down workout. 

Speaking of Gibbs I got two strange anonymous emails asking why I don’t talk about him anymore and the best explanation would be that I was a baby bird when he first started helping me and encouraging me to crush it and helping me believe in myself.  I am now a bird…basically he helped me when I needed it and molded me into someone who can fly on their own.  I know he is there if I ever need more encouragement or someone to tell me to crush it!
Until next time….