Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Good things come to those who work their asses off and never give up…

           So today marks the 4 months since I started and took my first picture of my weight loss journey.  I have to say overall I’m pretty impressed with the results.  I have had a couple slip ups along the way due to lack of motivation or laziness too much socialization.  All in all I’m glad that I choose to finally take the steps to become healthier and fit.   

Remember this horrific fucking picture?
 and now this:  YAY!
Oh and if your asking... you bet your fucking ass I got one picture taken just of me when the goose and I went to get our pictures taken for mothers day...58 pounds is a fucking a lot of weight! I know this!

Some things I learned along the way: (so far)

Boys are way better workout partners than girls.

Let’s face it GIRLS=DRAMA.  Boys are at the gym to workout except for the occasional checking out of a whore’s female’s ass but overall they are way more dedicated.  So I think we as women should really step it up and show these men what we have…haha!  On a side note not all the girls I go with or see at the gym are undedicated more like occasional lazy bitches! Come on girls!!!

Your mind will give out before your body does.

I’m not going to lie some days I want to fucking throw in the damn towel…I’m either not into it, way too tired or no motivation has been given (yes, imagine that!) The main excuse probably would be it fucking just plain hurts…but one thing I learned is unless you’re actually dying your body will keep going you just have to own it!

You CAN go weeks without eating chocolate and not want to rip someone’s head off.

I really haven’t had any chocolate in about 4 months…now when I say any I mean I was eating chocolate almost every day. I still crave it almost every day but usually I can’t get any and the craving goes away.  I will tell you that those fucking little girls who come around selling their delicious boxes of tasty treats really pissed me off and I had to give in to one minty box of cookies.  What bitches they are…tempting me with those cookies! Three dollars and fifty cents later I wanted to hunt them down!

I still LOVE buying and wearing workout clothes rather than regular clothes.

Oh my goodness…I could forever live in workout clothes.  Enough said!

Healthy food is way too fucking expensive!

Come on really everything good for you is so fucking expensive it’s really ridiculous.  I could by a pint of blueberries or two bags of chips for the same amount.  PLUS you cannot use coupons WTF!

You can give excuses but soon you will run out and have to just man up!

Excuses excuses…we all have them but really your just hurting yourself in the long run.  The effort it takes to make up an excuse you might as well actually go and do the shit your making the excuse for. 


UGGG! I work best with motivation.  For some crazy reason I cannot do it on my own.  I need someone behind me believing in me and encouraging me.  I know how stupid this sounds but I NEED the positive reinforcement of “you can do it” etc.  I’m weak I will admit it!  Another thing I noticed was that I’m becoming less hardcore and more emotional…apparently as I lose more and more weight I’m turning into more of a weak little girl…What the fuck is up with that! 
Until next time!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Laugh at the confusion of through the tears...

   Warning this post has nothing to do with weight loss….
        LAUGH at the confusion of life, SMILE through the tears and keep reminding yourself that…EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON and every in the end will turn out fine as long as you have friends.

 Let me first tell you…the last 12 hours have been a fucking nightmare.   Tuesdays and Thursdays are my favorite days at work because the whole team is there.  So it was good as usual and then my phone goes all fucking crazy no texts from anyone…bring the goose to gymnastics and still not one text. This is so silly but I love to save texts from some people because when I need a little encouragement I go back and read them or a good laugh.  I erased all of them you would have thought that someone murdered a puppy in front of me…I was so upset but the phone still did not work.
 I call Brown to see if she is still going to go to spin class, she says yes so I had just enough time to get the Hunger Games book.  My brilliant plan is to read it by Friday.  This may not happen but as you recall not many of my brilliant plans actually become brilliant.  I get to the gym really start opening up to Brown…you would have thought I was drinking…usually I don’t trust girls one bit but I’m just going on and on and on…perhaps too much! We finish spin class and still I am talking for an hour by our cars…on and on and on. LAUGH AT THE CONFUSION OF LIFE!    Seriously someone should have hit the mute button….but no!  Anyway we leave and I go to bed…
THEN ALL the shit hits the fan…literally there was shit all over the wall and the fan…I was so not expecting anything that was going to happen this morning.  Texts started flying in and I was happy about finally getting some communication back.  Seven voice mails. Time to SMILE through the tears and keep reminding yourself that…EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!

 The girl I work with had had her hours terminated at work…not go at all which means no TEAM time.  I was crushed.  Crying and crying…I text Brown at 6:45 am...I am sorry about waking you so early.   I always value honesty in a friendship and that is extremely hard to come by…even if everything in your mind is telling you to say something else…even a hardcore bitch like myself can see the good in people and where credit is due.  I also tell her that I will no longer be working with them and how horrible it was. 
         She did cheer me up a bit but everyone knows there’s only one person as crazy as it sounds that can make me smile and turn my frown upside down…Gibbs…about 7 am I text him and tell him about it and he tells me look at the silver lining…I love silver and have never hated those words so much in my life. 

           I mean I know that my life is not over I just wasn’t expecting this…It was like I got fired.  I was already prepping myself for summer break which was not going as planned.  Keep telling myself if these people are really great people they will be around even if we can’t see each other every day. 

          Then the nicest thing happened…they wanted to take me somewhere to get my mind off of what horrible stuff happened today…I want to cry just thinking how lucky I am to have such great people in my life…but I’m not crazy…even the best of friendships are not going to take me away from my goal and the fact that spin is tonight…sorry guys!  I do love spin and eveything in the end will turn out fine as long as you have friends. STAY POSTIVE!!!!

Until Next time….

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Walk around the house like a fucking champion…

The day before weigh in and I was totally going to push myself to the limit. Like do epic shit.  Wednesday started off at the gym at 8am for spin cycle class. Which by the way I fucking LOVE- 6th class this week and it’s only Thursday…obsessed…umm no more like a dedicated hardcore bitch.  I went to the morning class with Philly and Potter.  The instructor was really different I have now gone to all of them and she plays the best music but really does some crazy shit.  Picture this: One leg out of the petal up on the handle bar and the other leg still cycling…it hurt like hell but you have got to push through the pain.  We ended class sweating like pigs and worn.
  I had to go take care of some business-apparently social security thinks I’m dead so I had to clear that up then I went to lunch with a friend.  I had a craving for soda so I ask Gibbs how bad would it be if I have one soda…I was just testing him to see what he would say but he said water so that’s what I had and oh it was sooo fucking refreshing…NOT city water sucks.  I wonder what the owner of the gym would say if I bring in a gallon jug next time I go and fill up with the water…who knew that is some delicious shit they have at the gym.
Later in the day I get ahold of Ash and we make plans to go to the gym now usually I go with Ash on Wednesdays as long as our children are not sick.  This happens a lot that we have to cancel it seems to always happen on a Wednesday.  I checked the gym schedule of classes.  YAY another spin class!  I let her know she shoots back the old I’m not sure.   I send her back the… I’ll get there early and grab us two bikes.  Really? She was totally doing it…if my fat ass can make it on the spin cycle she can and she’s a third of my weight. We show up at Spin Class and rock it.  Halfway through we decide to go to Zumba class after…hey why not it’s the day before weigh in and I was going to do epic shit…remember!
Zumba time and holy hell that instructor is HOT!  Although he seems to be a tad on the feminine side but he surely is easy on the eyes, and motivating by really get all hoochie moving and sexifing yourself moving and gyrating. I know I am so uncoordinated but I felt like a pole dancer then reality set in and Im a mother with a foul mouth who is on the overweight side but a person can dream right?  Now let me explain the class to you…I may put on makeup before I go to the gym but these bitches are all hooched up in tight shirts and huge hoop earrings, lipstick, and hair down.  Who the hell can handle their hair down this is not a fashion show bitches and I highly doubt that fine looking ethnic man is looking for some tits and ass…ok maybe ass but not the kind all of us are supplying.  Fuck he was hot! Anyway after looking like a drenched wet dog sweaty and I’m sure stinky we finish the class.  What to do…beefcake room?  I thought about it but I figured let’s move this operation to the elliptical and work what little energy I have left on it.  I went for 15 minutes and some of it backwards.  I wanted to DIE! 
Hop on the scale and pray to god that I lost some weight…I was totally crushed what the hell is going on I spend about 3-4 hours at the gym everyday…not socializing (maybe a little) but I have been busting my fucking ass this week.  No ice tea and still nothing I was still at about 39 pounds.  I wanted to cry pick up the scale and throw it across the fucking gym it just isn’t fair.  I was doing everything…I hated the gym and honestly felt that I am just going to throw in the towel this just isn’t worth the trouble. 
OH WAIT A FUCKING SECOND….after all my bitching and complaining Potter and Ash do the math and guess what?  That fucking right I was wrong…apparently I need a calculator because 246 pounds is a 52 pound loss not 39.  Now here I am looking like a fucking pansy about ready to cry and it was all because I didn’t do the math right.  I really don’t know what the fuck kind of math I was doing. 
The funny thing is that the day before I was really upset about this and was cheered up a little from Gibbs because I thought in the month I only lost 6 pounds.  Sometimes he has a way to put a silver lining on stuff.  Perhaps that’s why I go to him as my primary mode of motivation plus he knows when I am bullshitting him and knows how to tell me like it is.  He’s on to my sneaky behavior and this is probably why he called me a liar when I shoot the OMG 52 pounds text, but it was worth it because I would totally do something like that.  No, I wouldn’t but I did have to explain the fact that I can’t do math and look like a fucking idiot. 
So today is Thursday and I am going to walk around like a fucking champion because with a 52 pound weight loss and 47.5 inches how the fuck can I not act like one.

Arm (right)
Arm (left)
Thigh (right)
Thigh (left)
Total inches measured
Differences per measure
Current Weight
298 lbs.
246 lbs.
Differences in Weight
-52 lbs.
Pants Size

Until next time….

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Water...a love/hate relationship!


       Well first it’s been exactly a month since I started the blog…and over 900 views.  I’m so glad that people have nothing better to do than to read my crazy stories.  Just kidding! One problem I found is that I am running out of stuff to say without being redundant.  I will try but not every day is extremely funny and awesome.  Ok it is…who I am kidding.

              This past weekend was pretty boring except for the fact that the Goose and I went to a local parade.  We were told off by a lot of drunken people wearing too much fucking green.  The goose got to see people getting arrested…guys in kilts (super-hot—wonder if they had a shamrock g-string under their kilt haha)…bag pipers and more green than one person should see in one day even Kermit the Frog would be puking.  Sunday yielded nothing spectacular just hours and hours on pinterest. Oh and no workout either day.  Shame on me!

              Monday started off pretty good it was the 2nd day of Spin class…and guess what?  I went solo!  The funny thing is, is that I can totally go solo now.  I don’t know why I guess it’s because I have more confidence in myself or because if I really want a fucking hot body better looking body, I better just suck up the baby shit and get it done.  Plus I’m a grown woman…it’s time to act like one and besides we are all there for the same reason.  It does help that the mornings just have a bunch of haggy housewives wearing gold bracelets, silky pants and their hair teased higher than you can possibly imagine.   They are not a threat to me! 

I walk in to the spin class and get my bike adjust it to how the instructor had told me on Friday and jump on the bike.  Class starts and she was all calm last week taking it easy…not the case this week.  The instructor was hardcore this week.  Up, down, more resistance, dig into it.  Now my original thought was to really work it with no modifications just do everything she was doing.  This STILL did not happen…I just wanted to push myself to the extreme.  About 10 minutes in I was done…I had to take it back a notch.  The plan was to not modify unless absolutely necessary…it was necessary because I just couldn’t do it YET! Spin works all kinds of different muscles not to mention you also do arm weights as well.  My arms are not as strong as I assumed.   I finished the class alive.  I didn’t bring my phone in to the gym…it works as a reward to get through the class and then get out to the car and send the text of I completed it.  This is crazy but motivation comes in different forms. 

Yesterday was also the first day of no more Turkey H. Ice Tea…cold turkey!  This doesn’t seem like it would be hard but I drank a gallon a day…90 calories a cup…16 cups in a gallon and 1440 extra calories a day just by drinking that shit.  

Day one… went fine except I wanted to get into a fist fight like really beat the shit out of someone.  I was thinking about taking my aggression out on the punching bag but I needed to head to work after spin class yesterday.  I was so tired and sleepy.  I had a headache and lacked any kind of concentration nor did I care about anything going on around me. 

Day two…Another day of sleepiness and I warned the people at work that I’m in a foul mood and I’m so fucking sorry if I act like a total bitch today.  I made it the whole school day without getting arrested for murder so that was a plus…but I lacked any kind of concentration today either.  My arms are killing me but that could be related to the weights during spin class.
I should also give major props to Gibbs as well since he is going through the same thing and really rocked it today and yesterday by not buying any soda for 2 days as well…just water all day. Although he also seems to be coping a lot better than myself basically he’s not being a whiny bitch about the lack of caffeine.  He also was so nice to block the entrance of the gas station by driving slow…wasn’t that nice of him…geez like I can’t be trusted.  Haha.

Until next time...

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Perhaps I am too boyish....

         I hang around a lot of boys not because I’m a whore… because they are dedicated to the gym and motivate you and you should always pair up with people that do the same thing you want to do. In the last couple months I have been coming out of my shell of only being friends with the guys at work even though there are plenty of girls there. I just usually find girl’s catty, backstabbing, rolled in glitter bitches.

            Growing up I would always be friends with the guys…doing donuts in the burger king parking lot or racing cars down the highway at 110…losing my license at 16 for reckless driving…smoky burnouts or red lining it…burping, cursing…keg parties you know the fun stuff! I never wore dresses except when absolutely necessary…but we were forced to wear a skirt in field hockey where I stayed on the bench more than played…but whatever! Maybe I should have brought out the badass a little more. Funny part is I still have my field hockey stick (the old brine teal and black with hardly a ding in it) hahah

        When I got pregnant with the Gooser the day I found out before even knowing the sex of him…I bought overalls because I didn’t want a girl one bit…only a boy and if I found out he was going to be a she…she would have been the toughest little Goosette in overalls just like her mommy. I totally would have dressed her like Punky Brewster!

       Second chances… right I suppose that I cannot really ban off all girls entirely because girls are more likely to bake, sew and garden. I can’t really see any of the guys that I hang around threading a sewing machine or spooling the bobbin when it runs out, now I could see them picking up hoes but these are not the same kind that would help me in my backyard garden. Oooo it’s so exciting almost time to start growing vegetables with the Gooser.

          Speaking of second chances… I gave one girl a second chance you know the one who ditched me at the gym…(on her behalf if you remember I was running late and everyone goes to bed so damn early) anyway she was asked to go bowling with the team…did not show…huh are we that horrible? BUT I gave her a second chance yesterday (not counting the first one because it was my fault—I will own that). She said that she would come to Gooser soccer game and I will admit that I really thought she was blowing smoke up my ass…you know the kind of people I mean. I was not going to remind her because if a guy can remember that I was going to spin class surely she could remember a soccer game and who was going to upset a 4 year old, plus there was no way in fucking hell I was going to beg her to be my friend.

           20 to 10 I get a text…hey I’m coming…be there soon. (Or something like that) I was shocked. Technically credit will be given when she is actually at the location…she came and now she has earned a name…first we were toying around with Bucky but she looks in no way like the fucking Cadbury bunny and that’s all I thought of…then I thought about bling because she always wears these freaking awesome shoes… then I thought brown (inside joke and yes it’s totally inappropriate and sarcastic), but she wears brown all the time, hairs brown eyes brown and the purse is brown she likes brown. So Brown is the newest member of the team. Hopefully she will get to the gym with the free passes I gave her. We will see…PROBIE!!!

Friday, March 9, 2012

Better kick that spin class’s ass!

          Today started off horrific basically an emotional mess of a human worried about stuff beyond my control well not exactly beyond my control at all really.  It just really pisses me off that I am not losing weight and yes it upset me and I may have shed a tear or 500, it gets so frustrating people…I know…don’t give up even though you want to with all your might and just throw in the towel.  You will regret it and you have to stay strong for nobody else but the number one reason----YOU!

  Plus I agreed to join spin class with a new gym buddy and co-worker we will call her “Philly”.  I’m going to tell you right now I was shaking like a leaf felt like I was going to vomit all morning, pacing back and forth mainly because I didn’t want to get raped by the spin cycle’s seat, fall off or be in pain or worse yet look like a fool. 

          Let me bring you back to October last year 40+ pounds heavier and had never been in a gym let alone worked out before.  Here was me walking up the stairs in my fully coordinated I would never wear now sweat suit looking like a total idiot I’m sure. I was with two other people one being slots and the other a friend.  Who knew so much pain could happen in one area of your body—your ass! 
Here I was ready to rock this machine pumped up all day at work…I remember it like it was yesterday.  Talking so much smack about how I was going to dominate the spin cycle…change my life…blah blah blah! Minute one through five was great I felt like I could conquer the spin cycle.  THEN minute six pain set in---unbearable pain and I have given birth people…I know pain!  I look at Slots she is in pain too we were dying so out of shape and we still had 54 minutes left.  I honestly did not think I could make it.  We took our sweat shirts and put them under our ass but that didn’t help.  Then when one of us lost a towel from moving around so much trying to find a spot where we were not bruised the other person gladly got off there bike and assisted.  That was 30 seconds of pure heaven when that fucking seat was not pushing up against your ass. 
We did finish the class and painfully walked out of the gym…with hopes of never returning to that damn spin cycle.  I sat in the car and texted every team member and said I was alive and that I made it barely.  The next couple days at work were painful sitting and I was 100% sure that I would never try this again. 
Back to this morning…I continue to get ready and leave the house still shaking mind you…I really didn’t want to do this but I know I had to get my revenge on that spin cycle and everyone is allowed a second chance I guess the spin cycle was owed one too.  I thought to myself if I can’t do it this time I’m soo done you will be dead to me like a bag of Doritos.
THEN my phone went da-ding…I looked but thought it was Philly cancelling on me because it was at 7:45 in the morning and of course I’m more than half way there…this would so happen to me.  Before I looked I thought ok I will just do the killer leg machine for an hour then give her the death stare at work when I saw her because she ditched me.  I look and to my surprise it was not her cancelling it wasn’t even from her at all.  
 It was Gibbs telling me to kick that spin cycles ass.  I told him the night before that I was going to go and he REMEMBERED.  My fears and anxiety about going to the spin class completely vanished and I knew that if he could remember I was going to spin class that I would not be able to not give it my all.  I felt so sure of myself knowing that someone was behind me and supporting me.  You know when you read something and smile…that was me!  Everything that bothered me this morning didn’t seem to matter anymore and I knew that I had support and needed to report back how I did.  I was going to dominate this spin cycle... today was the day! 
I met Philly in the gym she was already working out on the treadmill.  We walked back to claim our cycles and I told her that I may complain a little.  I had to ask the instructor how to set the machine up since after last time I never looked because I had no intentions of coming back.  Then class started.  I took it easy in the beginning, when she said stand for one minute I sat and just peddled on the machine.  About 10-15 minutes in I stood, still unsure about it I sat down quickly but hey I stood right?  This wouldn’t be acceptable I couldn’t text Gibbs that I only stood for 30 seconds maybe I should lie?  Say I did more than I really did… except I know he would ask Philly if it was something really crazy unbelievable and I would be caught in an ugly web of lies.  So I figured I better just do it right the first time and impress.  So I decided to stand again and it wasn’t that bad…I pretty much followed the class for the exception that I was going slower but I did give it my all and nobody can take that away from me. 
When I left the room I wanted to run out to the car and text as quickly as I could…I was sooo proud that I made it through the class and that I gave my best.  I liked it too.   I think one thing that was different was that I lost a lot of weight around my midsection and it was easier to move my legs plus I have been crushing it on the killer leg machine.  I sent out my over excited text and had to wait a grueling hour before I get the good job…but it was worth it!
This why motivation and support from friends is so important. You should always find that person/s that will take time out of their day to think about you for one split second because that one second changed my whole day.  Having a few true friends is better than having a large network of pretentious friends…quality beats quantity all of the time…choose people who support you and bring out the best in you. Thank you!

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Who is the cupcake girl?

               Hmmmm…well I’m a girl who writes this blog in her limited free time usually in the morning while getting my son the goose ready for school or right after the gym at night.  I’m not going to disclose my age partly because I’m a lady and partly because it’s none of your business and most of you already know.  Perhaps when I’m posting the pictures of myself in a string bikini saying look at this shit and I’m ___ years old.  So basically I guess you will never know.  That’s not a defeatist attitude I would just never do that wear a string bikini.

              I wasn’t always overweight.  The weight started packing on after marriage and 2 year long military deployments that I have been through along with having a child and basically putting myself last and essentially giving up on myself.  I will admit the fact that I didn’t really care anymore… I had a take me or leave me attitude! Life happens and you get wrapped up in it and never really put yourself first…until now. 
            Every pound I lose is a reminder of all the stuff that I have been through and it sort of feels like each lost pound is a release of a stress or problem I held on to.  I don’t let the little things bother me anymore….everything will turn out ok because they always do. You just have to keep a positive mind and keep your eyes on the goal.  NEVER look away…stay focused and you will achieve what you deserve. 

Now as crazy as it sounds I think the major turning point was when all these bitches were coming in to work with knee high boots…I know it’s crazy but I soooo wanted a pair.   I went to buy a pair and couldn’t get them over my legs.  So for days these girls were coming in wearing boots over their jeans…taunting me.  I decided right then that I needed a pair of them and that I was going to work for them.  That’s how it started.  Funny thing is that I could care less now…I am not doing this journey for superficial reasons but more for myself and to set a better example for my son.  He deserves a mommy that can play soccer and wrestle with him…

              The blog offers an outlet for my everyday venting of my frustrations and for my total enthusiasm when people are tired of throwing all the workout stuff in their face.  I do get pumped up and excited about working out but who wouldn’t it makes you feel so good and it’s like a healthy drug.  When I don’t go you better get moving because I may rip your head off…not a roid rage people! 

The curses may offend some people…you know who you are but guess what I don’t fucking care…stop reading!  I know when to sensor myself and this blog is a free for all of my everyday happenings in the gym and with the team…fucking deal with it!

              My personality is strange…I’m sarcastic, but also caring (I think I am).  I will give you the shirt off my back if needed…but that’s not really saying much because I wear about 5 every day.  I love making people laugh and if you don’t make me laugh our friendship may be short lived.  Speaking of friendships I got some grief from Gibbs about the fact that I wouldn’t have any friends if I stop going to the gym.  Obviously I know this is not the case…you crazies are stuck with me now…plus I know where all of you work, live and hang out I will find you.  ;)

              Things I enjoy doing in my spare time include: (yes this sounds like an eHarmony ad)playing and spending time with my son on our Saturday date days, looking at pinterest, googling everything in the world, baking/cooking, crafts, gardening, sewing, decorating, shopping (lots of shopping) and couponing although I haven’t had much time recently with all the other stuff I do, blogging, and laughing –I read somewhere that the prettiest girls are the ones who laugh the most…well I laugh a lot! Haha unfortunately I do not think like this but I do think of this saying every time I laugh.

              I am totally obsessed with space…love everything about it…I wish I went to space camp when I was younger… and yes I wanted to be an astronaut… I kind of still do!  I cannot wait for the next meteor shower on August 12, 2012….so exciting! Here’s the link. and lets think about it who else would be super stoked to stand out in the freezing below zero temps to see stars fall from the sky…and it was freezing cold! I even wore a coat…I hate coats and I hate snow…the first time the snow falls I’m like ohhh isn’t it pretty then I’m over it and cannot wait for spring. 

               Well that’s all I will disclose for now sometimes the mystery of a person makes them even more intriguing…and you will just have to read more future posts to find out about me.  Until next time….