So Sunday night I texted Gibbs to tell him he has to do a little more in the form of motivation because when I thought about it there is no I in team…why should I be the only one responsible in losing weight and eating right? That sounds just as fucking stupid as it sounded coming out of my fingers. Anyway he agreed. Sorta!
Monday rolls around I get up and plan this brilliant and stupid idea of taking a dry erase marker and writing “I am a badass” on my mirror…I did do it then snapped a few photos of myself looking at the masterpiece for what who the hell knows. While I was googling I read you should write it on your mirror to remind you how badass you are. Maybe if I was not wearing a cardigan and instead leather chaps and a real sweet leather jacket but yoga pants a cardigan and a huge ass flower necklace was not saying badass. So as I put on my massive amounts of cover girl bronzer that I got for free a while ago I stared at how ridiculous this was. Next I figured hey lets post a new status on Facebook “today is going to be a good day, I can feel it” I would not say that today was one of my all-time favorite days but it did have a lot of humor. I got the goose ready in “clean” clothes too. ;) I then got my lunch ready because I needed to bring in something healthy. I brought a salad with grilled chicken, carrots, celery, French onion dip, pretzels and lots of water. Seriously, I was starting off excellent.
Work came and went I sent out the word to Magnum that I need the old up in your face nothing but to fear Magnum back. Then to my surprise he’s nice not that he’s always not nice but just not what I was expecting…this is not what I need, I need “hey bitch no excuses get your fucking ass to the damn gym”. Not what I got, but he did give me some good advice so I will let the niceties go for now, but this better not be permanent. So everything was set Gibbs=motivation, Magnum=pusher, and Potter=going to the gym buddy. It was going to be sweet just had to get done with work bake cupcakes and dinner and then the gym.
Dinner was made, cupcakes baked except they looked horrible like really shitty. The cupcake girl could not bring these into work. I will send them with the goose tomorrow because let’s face it preschoolers eat everything and bake new cupcakes when I get home from the gym. This was another brilliant plan. ;) Holy fuck they are good! I tried one just to make sure they are good enough for work and who would have thought that captain crunch cupcakes with a marshmallow peanut butter icing would be to die for.
So back to the gym because really this is blog is turning a little into a personal diary of funny stuff that happens to me. Hopefully you find the humor in this as much as I do. About 20 minutes before the gym I inform Potter that I am on my way and he better get his ass there on time. Only because he said that I better be on time earlier. Geez I’m always never on time. I ask him if my I-pod is updated with my new found love of country music…he says of course. Then I get the dreaded “don’t be mad…” text. Oh no, I was not going to the fucking gym alone he was out of his mind if he thought that was what was going to happen. It wasn’t he just lost my I-pod now you would think that would bother me—not so much I just wanted to make sure that he was going because let’s face it I was still not going to go alone. One of these days I would go, but not today. He finally shows up a half hour late. While I was waiting I cleaned the front seat of my car, it’s amazing how much shit is in my car. It’s like a rolling dumpster. So we get to the gym walk in and of course I have to go to the bathroom which requires me to go through the beefcake room. Sometimes I think my bladder is just fucking with my head. I’m perfectly fine then as soon as I walk in to the gym I have to pee. Ugg…back though the beefcake room I go.
Now here’s the funny part I was texting magnum to tell him he was going to have to step up tonight and be Gibbs replacement because after I sent the cupcake photo to him he never responded…this is another reason the cherry coke cupcakes are not coming to work…were they that horrible that I lost all my privileges for motivation? By the way I never heard from him for the rest of the night…bastard! Haha (I’ll hear about that tomorrow, but maybe not because of these badass captain crunch cupcakes) well see! I told Magnum he’s going to have to really give me a ridiculous number or something to do. I love when I am challenged then I snap the picture and say to myself in your face fucker! This is so twisted but true. I send it out in mid-stream because remember I am in the bathroom. Then what the fuck no toilet paper…are you fucking kidding me? How hard is it to replace the toilet paper apparently as hard as it is to look to see if there is any? This is not the first time this has happened and it pisses me off! So there I am drip drying like I’m camping or pissing on the side of the road when Magnum gets back to me and says do 500 crunches. Ya that was not going to happen. One thing about Gibbs is he makes the challenges a challenge but they are still obtainable as long as you work for them.
So I go back out to the cardio area inform Potter of my challenge and the fact that I am now sporting a wet crotch and that there is no way in hell that I would ever make it through 500 crunches and live to see tomorrow. I get another brilliant plan to call the front desk which is literally 15 feet in front of me and place an anonymous call that they better fill the toilet paper. I do it and the old man ---who after me telling him he is the old man would rather be referred to as sugarpie#4 don’t ask why he’s a crazy fucker. So sugerpie#4 picks up the phone I can’t even talk I am laughing so freaking hard. He tells me that I have the wrong number the only thing that came out clear was tell *&*^% that he needs to refill the toilet paper. I was laughing so hard that I had to stop the killer leg machine. In the mean time when I can breathe again I start to go on the machine and the thing timed out. I guess I was laughing too long. Feeling unmotivated and laughing so hard from that we decided to end the workout if you would even call it that and go talk to sugarpie#4 for an hour because what else are you supposed to do at the gym---workout? I will tell you that I DID NOT stop at Arby’s and I DID NOT do anything else bad when I came home! So the way I see it I AM A BADASS…or at least pretty funny. Tomorrow is another day to get it right. Hopefully this time I will have a realistic goal and a little motivation…GIBBS!
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