The day before weigh in and I was totally going to push myself to the limit. Like do epic shit. Wednesday started off at the gym at 8am for spin cycle class. Which by the way I fucking LOVE- 6th class this week and it’s only Thursday…obsessed…umm no more like a dedicated hardcore bitch. I went to the morning class with Philly and Potter. The instructor was really different I have now gone to all of them and she plays the best music but really does some crazy shit. Picture this: One leg out of the petal up on the handle bar and the other leg still cycling…it hurt like hell but you have got to push through the pain. We ended class sweating like pigs and worn.
I had to go take care of some business-apparently social security thinks I’m dead so I had to clear that up then I went to lunch with a friend. I had a craving for soda so I ask Gibbs how bad would it be if I have one soda…I was just testing him to see what he would say but he said water so that’s what I had and oh it was sooo fucking refreshing…NOT city water sucks. I wonder what the owner of the gym would say if I bring in a gallon jug next time I go and fill up with the water…who knew that is some delicious shit they have at the gym.
Later in the day I get ahold of Ash and we make plans to go to the gym now usually I go with Ash on Wednesdays as long as our children are not sick. This happens a lot that we have to cancel it seems to always happen on a Wednesday. I checked the gym schedule of classes. YAY another spin class! I let her know she shoots back the old I’m not sure. I send her back the… I’ll get there early and grab us two bikes. Really? She was totally doing it…if my fat ass can make it on the spin cycle she can and she’s a third of my weight. We show up at Spin Class and rock it. Halfway through we decide to go to Zumba class after…hey why not it’s the day before weigh in and I was going to do epic shit…remember!
Zumba time and holy hell that instructor is HOT! Although he seems to be a tad on the feminine side but he surely is easy on the eyes, and motivating by really get all hoochie moving and sexifing yourself moving and gyrating. I know I am so uncoordinated but I felt like a pole dancer then reality set in and Im a mother with a foul mouth who is on the overweight side but a person can dream right? Now let me explain the class to you…I may put on makeup before I go to the gym but these bitches are all hooched up in tight shirts and huge hoop earrings, lipstick, and hair down. Who the hell can handle their hair down this is not a fashion show bitches and I highly doubt that fine looking ethnic man is looking for some tits and ass…ok maybe ass but not the kind all of us are supplying. Fuck he was hot! Anyway after looking like a drenched wet dog sweaty and I’m sure stinky we finish the class. What to do…beefcake room? I thought about it but I figured let’s move this operation to the elliptical and work what little energy I have left on it. I went for 15 minutes and some of it backwards. I wanted to DIE!
Hop on the scale and pray to god that I lost some weight…I was totally crushed what the hell is going on I spend about 3-4 hours at the gym everyday…not socializing (maybe a little) but I have been busting my fucking ass this week. No ice tea and still nothing I was still at about 39 pounds. I wanted to cry pick up the scale and throw it across the fucking gym it just isn’t fair. I was doing everything…I hated the gym and honestly felt that I am just going to throw in the towel this just isn’t worth the trouble.
OH WAIT A FUCKING SECOND….after all my bitching and complaining Potter and Ash do the math and guess what? That fucking right I was wrong…apparently I need a calculator because 246 pounds is a 52 pound loss not 39. Now here I am looking like a fucking pansy about ready to cry and it was all because I didn’t do the math right. I really don’t know what the fuck kind of math I was doing.
The funny thing is that the day before I was really upset about this and was cheered up a little from Gibbs because I thought in the month I only lost 6 pounds. Sometimes he has a way to put a silver lining on stuff. Perhaps that’s why I go to him as my primary mode of motivation plus he knows when I am bullshitting him and knows how to tell me like it is. He’s on to my sneaky behavior and this is probably why he called me a liar when I shoot the OMG 52 pounds text, but it was worth it because I would totally do something like that. No, I wouldn’t but I did have to explain the fact that I can’t do math and look like a fucking idiot.
So today is Thursday and I am going to walk around like a fucking champion because with a 52 pound weight loss and 47.5 inches how the fuck can I not act like one.
| INCHES/WEIGHT LOST | |||
| 11/28/2011 | 3/15/2012 | ||
| Arm (right) | 17 | 14 | |
| Arm (left) | 16.5 | 14 | |
| Hips | 55 | 38 | |
| Butt | 59.5 | 53 | |
| Bust | 52 | 45 | |
| Thigh (right) | 29 | 24 | |
| Thigh (left) | 30.5 | 24 | |
| Total inches measured | 259.5 | 212 | |
| Differences per measure | n/a | 47.5 | |
| Current Weight | 298 lbs. | 246 lbs. | |
| Differences in Weight | n/a | -52 lbs. | |
| Pants Size | 26/28 | 20 | |
Until next time….
No comments:
Post a Comment